Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
