you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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