i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize