dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
