Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
