Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i came on her dog
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
