Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
