i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my shit smells like andre
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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