Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i've created a new STD.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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