And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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