what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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