You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
