And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
