so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
