in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
