is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
