tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
