i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
