dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize