i permit you to call me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
