yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
