About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
