At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize