Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize