that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
