Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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