Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You smell like stripper and shame
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
