Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry fadedsecrecy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.

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(619): View more from California

You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything

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(937): View more from Ohio

i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered

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(773): View more from Illinois

literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in

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(205): View more from Alabama

I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..

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(253): View more from Washington

The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"

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(503): View more from Oregon

My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.

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