you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
