when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
