Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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