so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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