I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
