His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
