hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
