This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
