i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
