Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize