At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
