Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
