Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
