M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
