Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
