I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Come see our sink grown plant.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
