CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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