Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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