I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
