Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
