Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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