playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
