Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
