Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
