we're blogging at a bar
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
