Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
