Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
