Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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