I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize