I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
