Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize