I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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