I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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