I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
