I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
