I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize