Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
