I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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