I showed him my bush... on skype.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
