I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
