Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
