EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
