im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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