I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
