She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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