does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Someone signed my nipple.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
