this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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