So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
