We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
