so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
