But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
